John Kitchin:  Engineer, Author, Minister

After each editorial on my Editorial Page (C3), I will eventually give a proposed solution.  In addition, solutions may be found on this Solutions Page (A6).  Solutions are also found on my law pages, philosophy page, and elsewhere in C-section (no, that's not a birth).  It's the birth of a new process:  Web Ideas, online.  I hold the patent rights on the A5 and A6 ideas pages, but browse thru here, 'cause you might be able to use these ideas to make a bunch of cash.  I'm more into love than cash these days.

"Love is where ideas come from."  John (Schlitz) Kitchin.  Don't you hate it when a guy keeps quoting himself?  I was in the choir at a Catholic church, and always payed (sic) close attention to the sermon and homilies.  Except when Father Gene was speaking.  Then, I'd be back in the choir break room, getting a coffee and a doughnut (donut).  One day, a lady that played the flute in the choir asked me why I don't listen to Father Gene's words.  After all, she said, he's the best.  My reply:  "I write it".

She didn't believe me, of course, so the next week I gave her a copy of what Gene was about to say.  Hey, I wrote for Carson!  (Johnny, not Kit.  I wrote something like 2 jokes and earned something like $50.)  I plan a Humor Page, with weekly updates.  (This now exists, Page B2, Bite Me!)   Back to business:

FM Bilinear Amplifier: 

Fringe area FM "Walkman" reception improved.  Plugs into earphone jack.  Comes in 3 flavors:  External antenna added only (cheap), RF signal amp for increased sensitivity, and/or AF (audio) increased power, to drive speakers or headphones.  Great idea, needed for people in, say, Ramona, wanting to use a personal FM radio.

Homeless Food Tokens

I propose a food token, good at fast-food restaurants.  Because of political corruption, I need to demand the exact particulars of how all this works:

1.)  Tokens are good only for specific items on the Dollar Menu.  They may not be used for anything else.  Other use constitutes fraud.

2.)  Each token is valid as payment for one 99 cent item, including tax.  No cash involved.  Not all dollar menu items qualify, either, for nutritional reasons.

3.)  The restaurant agrees to accept tokens, in accordance with these rules.  Tax is included, or, possibly the transaction is tax exempt, as this is a charitable contribution. 

4.)  Tokens sell for $1.20 each, which is $0.99, plus $0.09 tax (approximately; varies by city), and an administrative charge of $0.12 per transaction.

5.)  People looking to help homeless and other poor people without giving them cash (which could be used for dope or booze) can buy tokens and hand them out as desired.  This gives 24-hour access to food.

6.)  The only authorized restaurants are as follows:  McDonald's, Burger King, Carl's Jr., Jack-In-The-Box, Taco Bell, and Del Taco.  Under no circumstances may corrupt politics add a restaurant to this list! 

7.)  The only items which may be purchased are burgers, chicken, salads, etc.  No beverages except milk or fruit juice (not fruit drink.)  Specifically prohibited from token purchase are the following:  Sweets, desserts, soft drinks (except as above), and/or fried vegetables, such as French fries or onion rings.  Milkshakes are prohibited as "sweets".

8.)  Tokens will be minted by a casino chip company.  The cost is part of the 12 cent administrative fee.  Some of that fee may also go to the seller of chips as a sales commission.  I call upon the American Indian gaming casinos to sell these food chips, in cooperation with Native American Traditional Religion.  The Old Religious Traditions of the Native American Nations provide for the feeding of neighboring tribes, if those tribes need help.  Yes, that's Ancient Paganism.  I lived a few years on the Quechan Nation Reservation, near Yuma, Arizona, and wrote a book about reservation life.

9.)  Please do not even THINK about changing #6 or #7, as that took many years to establish as exactly the correct solution.  We would be better off WITHOUT this idea, if either nutrition or participation get corrupted by idiot politicians.  You'll cause the abuse of tokens, traded for cigarettes.  Going to be some of that, minimal, but if you can't use chips to buy desserts, shakes, fries, colas, etc., their value will be low.  Except to eat.

♥♥♥ Homeless Survival Kit:  ♥♥♥

P38A Canadian Army canopener, plastic knife-fork-spoon, napkins, flashlight & batteries, dollar radio, ear plugs, pad of paper, 2 pens, one stamped envelope, 99 Cents phone card, plastic sheet, cigarette lighter, space blanket, dollar backpack, needle and thread, dollar perfume, and dollar umbrella or raincoat. 

Saving The Economy Copyright 2010, and Patent Pending, John Kitchin.  All Rights Reserved!

Now that George W. Bush's war has bankrupted the nation, enriching his cronies, how do we now get out of this Recession or Depression?  ("Recession, repression, all the same thing."  Cheech Marin.)  There are 2 bad plans:

1.)  The Republican Plan:  Cut taxes, and spend less money on all of the things that government does.  Trim budgets.  This eventually results in all businesses going out of business, one at a time, and no jobs whatsoever outside of government.  Great idea!?

2.)  The Democratic Plan:  Increase government spending at the federal level, in order to make the process in (1.), above, slower, more prolonged, and more painful for everyone.  Throw everyone a bone, as they starve to death, even tho the bone has no meat on it.  Stretch out the death process by years.  Another great idea!?  (What's the alt key for an interabang, both ? and ! at the same time?)

3.)  My plan:  Warning, this person has been accused of Suspicion of Suspicion.  Intentionally cause one octillion percent inflation.  Quintuple, minimum, the state and federal budgets.  Tax only those people who took all our money under Bush. 

Money does not "disappear".  It flows to people.  Tax only those people who took it, to get our money back.  In the meantime, make all that stolen money worthless.  Start printing billion-dollar coins, because we're going to need them!  Spend, spend, spend, spend, spend, and spend some more.  Print money.

The Parable of the Stockbroker:  Once a stockbroker fell asleep for 40 years, like Rip Van Winkle.  Waking up, he wanted to know how his 10,000 shares of AT&T were doing.  So, he called up his stockbroker, and learned that ATT was on $25 million per share!  Just then, a recorded message came on the telephone and told him to deposit 2 little green hundred-billion-dollar coins for the next 3 minutes.

Stop laughing.  We're here.  Get used to it.  We're still a great country.  Raped, pillaged, bleeding, but very great.  With the fall of Communism, and now, Capitalism, what's next?  It's time for Socialism, as in Sweden, Holland, Norway, Denmark, Australia, Canada, and so on.  Too many Fascist Capitalist Pigs oinking their way around here, shitting all over everyone and everything!

Rich bastards like to pound people into the ground.  Once you're down in the hole, the ricos piss on you.  That's because they consider us peons (pee-ons).  Pee-ons get pissed on.  You need to get an umbrella, plus climb out of the hole.  Hey, it's better to get pissed off, than to get pissed on.  Did he say Golden Parachute, or Golden Shower?  You get one or the other under Nazi Capitalism!  Der Feuhrer would be proud.  Me, not.  Who let our present leaders lead, anyway?  Well, I guess we do need to hire the handicapped.  Hire the morally handicapped:  Vote.

Solve the Depression Crisis?  Spend, and don't stop spending until things improve a lot.  Nothing else will work.  Prevent the re-election of all Republicans, especially at local government levels.  Two parties from now on, the Democrats and the Socialists.

[A "rico" is a corrupt, rich, slimy motherfucker who could give a shit about anybody else.]

John Kitchin

Peace With Iran and Islam, Easily

How about resolving problems with Iran and the radical clerics using Spirituality?  If you gave, say, the psychiatric drug Strattera to the Chief Ayatollah (Khomeini), you'd wake up enuf Genetic Memory that he'd straighten out and not be so radical.  Well, if you could do that, you'd feed him cyanide instead, right?  Bad move.  Whoever replaces him would become even more radical, remembering his death.  Bad thinking.  Love thy neighbor.

Get some of his DNA by any means, and send the guy's spirit on a trip.  Make him so spiritual that he's too "high" to do his work, and genetic memory forces its way out.  The moment he brings Mohammed on-line spiritually, he's going to learn New Islam in a week or two, charismatically.  Trust me.

Electronic G, plus DNA replication machines, could be used.  Didn't you guys read John Schlitz' book "Milwaukee's Gnostic Brotherhood:  The Real Mafia"?  It has a censored ISBN number.  I saw it on E-Bay for $21,000.  Wish I had just one copy!

A6 is my patented ideas.  The price on this one is that you donate enuf money (anonymously is okay) to keep the Tijuana Rescue Mission temporarily operating, say, for 3 months ($1,200).  And, I would like a US Diplomatic Passport.  Gotta cross the border 3 times some days, plus I'm probably going to have to do a few things in-person in the Middle East.  Bill Clinton probably remembers me as an advisor.  Hillary, talk to Bill.  I'm the guy who wrote him about selling Camp Pendleton, altho that was one idea that would not work.  There were other ideas, he used.

Even without Electronic G, this can all be accomplished thru al Halel, plus making the good Ayatollah an honorary Catholic Chaldean Priest, a rabbi, and even a Buddhist monk.  Read "I Am Food" by British (goddess Britannia)  Professor Roger Corless.  Caution:  Clergy book.  So is the one by Schlitz (me), above.

This would work, could be set up in a month or two, and would produce results in a few months.

Patent Pending, Copyrighted, and All Rights Reserved, John Kitchin, 2010.

Patent Pending and Copyright 2010.  This material is also registered as a Publisher's Imprint, which has the protection (almost) of a Trademark. 

John Kitchin, All Rights Reserved.