John Kitchin:  Engineer, Author, Minister

Copyright 2010, John Kitchin.  All Rights Reserved.

The jailhouse dictionary defines "criminal lawyers" as criminals that haven't got caught yet, defending other criminals who have.  This is a column of personal opinion. 

I once said that a Retainer Fee is a bribe that your lawyer gives to the judge so that you get a fair trial.  I was being facetious, but made a point.  We have the best legal system money can buy.  I'm currently engaged in a legal battle in the City of El Cajon, where I live on the sidewalk, but all is going well.

Police charged me with Misdemeanor Drinking for consuming my prescribed daily psychiatric medicine, a single 24-ounce can of beer.  I was seen by no one, the beer was disguised, and the cop snuck up on me.  I learned long ago that a beer will calm me down when I get angry.  Growing up in Milwaukee, beer was everywhere.  I bought it at age 15, even though the drinking age was 18.

It works.  In my entire lifetime, I've never punched, kicked, tripped, hit, or physically harmed anyone.  I shot a burglar once, but I was working as a police detective, and he shot at me.  When cops get shot at, they shoot back.  Easy concept to learn.

More recently, I got attacked on the Blue Line Trolley, by a woman who mistakenly thought I was sleeping with her husband.  Sorry, but I only sleep with adult women.  She punched me pretty good.  I didn't hit her back, but I did have her parole revoked.  That way, she can't hit you.

Most people who have been thru a divorce (I haven't, as I've never been stupid enough to marry) realize that the way it works is this:  The husband lies, the wife lies, they both accuse each other of molesting the children, the divorce is granted, and the lawyers take all their money.  I think divorce should be outlawed.  As soon as they outlaw marriage.  (For a discussion of how marriage and divorce should work, see Section C8, under "Marriage".)

None of this should be interpreted as legal advice, but I did get my non-degree in jailhouse law, Magna Cum Lousy.  The jailhouse dictionary defines "Bar Association" as a league of tavern and cocktail lounge owners that gives lawyers special drink prices every morning.  They issue bar cards for members.

Getting back to law, the meanest thing you can do to a judge is to place him/her under Citizen's Arrest, right in their own courtroom.  You do need real laws broken, but the fun can be double, because if they resist arrest, that is an additional charge, and it's criminal, even if the original arrest was frivolous.

Many of these things are contained in a huge body of law referred to as British Common Law.  It is valid in the United States to this day, and something not covered well in law school.  You have an advantage over the lawyers if you know it and they don't.

On July 3, 1776, when this nation was the United British Colonies of America, British Common Law was our only law.  The next day, we became the USA, but British Common Law was still our only law, because we didn't have our own laws yet.

When the United States Constitution got ratified, years later, many facets of Common Law were changed.  And, many more not.  Anything not changed by the Constitution is in full force and effect today. 

British citizens have always had an absolute right to drink alcohol anywhere and at any time, even in a courtroom or a church.  It's a basic civil right.  Open container laws are prohibited, and no property owner may interfere, either.  England prohibits all laws which restrict when, where, and how alcohol may be consumed.

Since the Constitution never took away that right, we all, theoretically, still have it.  And, it would take a Constitutional Amendment to take it away.  Obviously, the entire United Kingdom completely collapsed, due to the wanton excesses of drink, right?  Not.  You can sip booze on the London subway, and interfering with that is a crime.  The reasons are religious.   (Britannia's husband is Bacchus, god of alcohol, also known as St. Patrick.  For general information, my rabbi is Rev. Selena Fox at www.circlesanctuary.org).  I will be writing on Bacchus and St. Patrick in the holiday section, page C4.

Getting back to jailhouse tactics, you may want to find a reason to subpoena the police officer, the judge, the DA, the police chief, the detectives, and maybe everyone else you can think of.  On a good day, issue at least a thousand of them.  Computers crank them out quick.  I'm infamous for issuing a subpoena to the DA if I don't get my "Discovery" (Prosecution) evidence quickly enough.

Why should the DA be treated special?  Ask that the DA be held in contempt, and sent to jail.  After all, that's what they're trying to do to you, isn't it?

The jailhouse dictionary defines "Entrepmanure" as an entrepreneur who sells bullshit (manure) to rich people.  Con artist?  No, that's a prisoner who paints or sculpts in their cell.

Because of corruption, a lot of lawyers, judges, and especially cops have a lot more money than their tax records would justify.  What's the number of the IRS form to report illegal income?  Al Capone was caught that way.  Be sure to also have an investigator check out the lifestyles involved, too.  Enter IRS indictments into evidence at your trial.

Beginning disbarment proceedings against all lawyers involved is one of my favorite tactics.  Lawyers don't disbar other lawyers, generally, just like cops don't arrest other cops.  They all have too much to hide.  Find out some slime, and try to disbar the whole bunch, including the judge. 

Lawyers and judges think they're special, because they got brainwashed in a Madrasa called law school.  Their heads were filled with bullshit like "innocent until proven guilty".  As you know, the reality is that people are guilty until they prove their innocence.  As you also know, everybody except lawyers considers lawyers to be slime-balls.  Nobody tells them that, due to intimidation taught in law school.  People are afraid of lawyers.

It's like AM talk radio.  Lots of mental constipation.  That's when somebody's head is completely filled with shit, and they just can't squeeze it out.

When you win a disbarment, the State Supreme Court gives you the lawyer's license as a trophy.  You can't ever show it to anybody, except in certain instances and states.  Google the name Robert S. Sosnay, the lawyer who took part in my unjust 5 felony convictions years ago.  Justices, and even lawyers, would like to clean up the law business, too.  It's often the jailhouse lawyers who prosecute.  No rules of evidence, the lawyer has no rights, it's great.  Lawyers have been making everyone else sweat for years, and it's time to return the favor.

Dealing with the Mormons:  If you're fighting a legal battle in one of the Mormon Homeland cities (Denver, Salt Lake, San Diego, Las Vegas, Inland Empire of the Los Angeles Area, and now, Milwaukee), the key is to move fast.  Mormon politics moves very slow, and it's their weakness.  Demand a Speedy Trial, for example, and get the charges dropped when nobody can do that.  You can't call in the local news media, because it's politically controlled.

I don't want to say more, and I've only covered less than 1%.  I'm trying to reform the legal system, not harm it.  If I were trying to put law out of business, I would publish several thousand pages.

I would like to apply for the job of Public Exonerator.  Unfortunately, that would take me away from my duties as the priest at the Tijuana Rescue Mission.  This legal crap is taking up too much time, and causing a lot of hungry people to not get dinner and breakfast.

I do offer tours, but only to major financial backers.  Come down here and explain to these guys why breakfast was cancelled today, so that their priest could go type up some legal papers.

Getting back to my current legal issue, I will be appearing in person at a courthouse near you:  El Cajon City, East Co. Courthouse, Dept. 4, Dec. 30, 9 AM.  Watch the Criminal Scapegoat System at work.

CONTINUED ON WEB-PAGE C7:  LAW, CONTINUED.  TO GO THERE, CLICK HERE:

http://nz9f.com/c7_law_continued

This webpage is Copyrighted 2010, John Kitchin.  All Rights Reserved.

This web page is dedicated to Milwaukee lawyers Sandra Ruffalo, Robert S. Sosnay, E. Michael McCann, Fred Matestic, and, most of all, Gerry Boyle, all of whom made it necessary. 

All this took away 28 years from my life, half of it, worth about $310 million, as I see it.  This went way beyond lawyers, to the news media, including Gale Garbarino and Marie Rhode.  And, beyond that to the maximum extreme abuse of both psychiatry and the Spirituality of two major religions.

You're the people who gave me my faith in God, society, and the legal system.  I've often tried to write how I feel, but there are no words which can be used.  I curse you.  I was broken beyond the ability to ever have fun, the rest of my life.  And, this was no accident.

I know of nothing that you could give me that would satisfy this debt.  Me?  Without ideas?  Without any words?  That's extreme.  On to more important things:  I am going to try to get peace in the Middle East. 

FUCK YOU!

I forgive you, but it took over 12 hours of crying to do so.  Besides, you have what I call the "Jesus Defense".  It goes like this:  "Your Honor, if my client had not done these terrible things, Mr. Kitchin would never have had enough toughness and guts to amount to anything."  How do you answer that?

The Ancient Pagans (of the Roman Empire) intentionally killed Jesus so that Christian scripture could be fulfilled.  No crucifixion, no salvation.  Had to happen.

The Jews did not kill Jesus, but they could have prevented His death.  The trial transcript of The Roman People vs. Jesus of Nazareth is still extant, last seen in the custody of the American Gnostic Church, Corpus Christi, TX.  Not to be confused with 15 other churches by the name.  AGC is an Ancient Pagan Church in good standing.

Religious secret, coming out of the closet.

Johnny Cash had a song about the Jesus Defense:  It's called "A Boy Named Sue."  Being treated badly causes people to become a lot more resilient.  Along with the anger in my writing, I'm sure you see that part, too.

I will be deveoping a format to get peace between Israel and Palestine, and placing it on this website, page C8.