John Kitchin:  Engineer, Author, Minister

TO:  THE CITY OF EL CAJON, CITY ATTORNEY'S OFFICE, REGARDING THE MISDEMEANOR CRIMINAL MATTER IN WHICH JOHN KITCHIN IS CHARGED: 

On Dec. 31, 2009, I was in El Cajon (per usual) on East Main St., and at least 2 police squad cars sped past me at high speeds, coming close to me on each pass.  Six times.  The same cars.  In one direction, I can understand, getting to a crime scene.  But in both directions?  You're making it pretty easy to charge Police Harassment.

Besides, after 30 years of living there, don't you think I know a few people inside City Hall?  Regarding the refusal of the City Attorney, or Assistant City Attorney, or Acting City Attorney, or Deputy Acting Assistant to the City Attorney (whoever may be the Prosecutor in my Misdemeanor case), your refusal of my subpoena for Officer Murphy's records is invalid.  I meet the conditions for #4 in your letter:  Attorney for the Defendant.

I used the words "Acting Attorney" so that no one could accuse me of representing myself as a member of the Bar.  I don't drink in the morning, anyway.  I really do not need Murphy's records, unless he testifies, and that is very unlikely.  Were he actually planned to testify, I would then need his Service Records and his Tax Records, plus a court-appointed Private Investigator.  I'd do it myself, and I'm extremely good, but I'm too close to the case.

I cannot talk to Murphy, as that would be tampering with a witness.  Only Prosecutors can do that.  Law 101.  (That does happen to be true, and is one of the reasons why so many innocent people get convicted of crimes.)  If I could talk to him, I would point out that he should have not given me my Miranda Rights so soon, before I could explain about my beer prescription, and my being an ex-cop.

Once anybody, even in a Citizen's Arrest case, gives you Miranda, you must shut up and demand a lawyer.  That comes even before Law 101, in Law 100, "Survey Of All That Legal Stuff".  (Thank you to Matt:  Got a fair hearing.)

Since you missed our meeting on Dec. 30, in the El Cajon Courthouse, Dept. 4, here's what happened in class:  I requested a Default Judgement, due to your absence.  I presented to the Court your letter to me wherein you admit having no physical evidence whatsoever, and no depositional evidence, either.  I made the case that a Change of Venue is in order, or I'd have to fight El Cajon in El Cajon.  The judge nodded his head. 

Besides, I'm a Public Figure.  I need a pool of at least two thousand potential jurors in order to be able to select a jury and alternates, because of what I am:  Famous or Infamous person, Pagan Bishop, Author, Homeless Person, Spokesperson For the Homeless, etc. 

I even complained that the hearing was ex-parte, as you were not there.  The judge smiled, but refused to let you off so easy.  So, I came up with 2 brilliant ideas:  First, I made a Motion To Dismiss Without Prejudice.  This would allow all this legal stuff to go away, and never come back unless you re-file it.  A King Solomon idea.  No dice.

My second idea was to substitute an Infraction for the Misdemeanor charge, and have me plead guilty, receiving a sentence of Public Service Time Served.  I have worked over 50 hours a week, without pay, at the Tijuana Rescue Mission for more than 2 years now.  I'm their priest.  That's about 5,000 hours of Public Service, and way more valuable than any Open Container violation.

Since I had to mess around, and you were not there to accept either, they are both off the table.

Since I seem to be teaching law to lawyers (can you tell I've done this before?) let me recap this case, to show you what you did wrong: 

1.)  Murphy should have talked to me, getting my side of the story, before Miranda/arrest.

2.)  El Cajon should not charge Infractions as Misdemeanors.  What's next?  Felony Unlawful Parking?

3.)  El Cajon should not harass all of its citizens at once, with ridiculous laws and dragnets about smoking in public, jaywalking, and other similar things, using the police as purely a revenue-generation tool.  There are better ways to raise money.  Ask me.

4.)  My initial letter to the Mayor was a request for extraordinary treatment, sort of like Gerald Ford pardoning Richard Nixon.

5.)  My second letter was to the City Attorney, not the District Attorney.  Now you know why.  Your expense.  Want to spend $25 million going to the "Extreme" Court?

6.)  You should have been at the Dec. 30 meeting, taking either the Dismissal or the Plea Bargain.  Now, the price will be higher.

7.)  Now, I want the jaywalking Infraction dropped, too, provided you take the offer BEFORE we are next scheduled to meet in Court. 

8.)  If I have to kick your butt in a courtroom, it's going to cost the city a Crosswalk between Ralph's Groceries, 300 North Second, and the Walgreen's or McDonald's across the street.  People have been killed crossing there, because there is no other way to get across.  The City put up huge "Do Not Cross Here" signs, but since it's the only place to cross, people still do, and often die.  Now, you ticketed me for jaywalking, by crossing the only place that made any sense.  Bad City.  Roll over, play dead.  Shake paws. 

9.)  I lost a friend, Cliff Grossmann, due to a similar problem nearby.  He was a hall-of-fame athlete.

10.)  You got my e-mail address wrong, due to a glitch in MS-Word software.  It's nz9f@hotmail.com, NOT Nz9f@hotmail.com.  E-mail addresses are case-sensitive, unlike web addresses.  Since you cannot begin a line with a non-capitalized letter, type in Nnz9f, and then delete the first (capital) N.  You get "thunderstorm warnings" from the computer program, but it works.  An idea from...Outside The Box.

John Abraham Kitchin (technically His Excellency and Most Reverend, but, well, sidewalk life is not conducive to titles like that).

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News Item:  The Tijuana Rescue Mission recently held its annual New Year's Yule party for homeless heroin addicts.  In honor of Old Father Christmas, and Baby Christmas (El Niño), they were served free beer.  Their priest serves Bacchus, husband of Britannia ("British"), and had no problem with serving beer, as none of them had any problems with alcohol, just heroin.

Lady Liberty (goddess of the United States of America) and Lady California (goddess of Agriculture) smiled.  So did the police.  Mexico has Freedom of Religion, and probably more so than the United States.  It was too cold outside to dance naked.  (For more info on Liberty and Justice, and California, www.circlesanctuary.org.)

Donations are needed for food, and the mission is in extreme financial hardship, due to the economy.  It serves the needs of 18 to 24 people, regarding daily breakfast and dinner (no lunches).  The Tijuana Rescue Mission keeps the data-base for all other soup kitchens in San Diego, as well as many food pantries, on its website, at NZ9F.com.  With the shutting down of all other free meals in Tijuana, this is the last program remaining.

To donate, write a check or money order to:

John A. Kitchin, PO Box 702, Alpine, CA  91903.  Donations of over $100 come with a free tour.

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